I should be grading papers.

I should be working right now. I am a middle-school math teacher and I have papers to grade. Instead I have been searching the internet for alternative careers that would be more profitable and allow me to be at home with my daughter more than just scheduled school vacations.

As I write my 13 year-old daughter demands my attention and is talking to me about ??? Oh yeah, "Say a few words and I will tell you if there is a song that goes with them." How does she think of these things?

I love her and I love working with children. I have found out that my career as a teacher takes more time from my family during the school year than I had ever imagined. I don't have the flexibility to be at my child's side when she is ill or go to back-to-school night because I have my own to attend. It seems ironic that a child centered career conflicts with my own children and is not family friendly. I feel that I can't be there for my daughter when she needs me.

I can't be there for myself either. I have had flu-like symptoms for the last four days now. I can't be sick. This is not part of my plan and I still have to write lesson plans for my sub-days. I love my job, but I want to have health and family come first. It is just hard to manage as a teacher. I know that other careers have their obstacles. I just needed a platform to vent the irony at play here. I love kids, educated myself to work with them, had my own and found that my career distracts more than supports my own family. I want to work to live, not live for my work.