Friday, January 8, 2010
Wanting to keep your memory alive
I have started a memorial fund in honor of Delacia. The money raised will go towards an annual college scholarship fund at AVHS, tree planting, and burial site bench. Friends, I am asking for a $1 contribution via http://www.paypal.com/. You will need to have a paypal account to contribute. It's easy to set up. You can send your donation to: delaciamemorialfund@gmail.com. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you. Love, Kristen
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Today we picked out your headstone.
I woke up angry this morning. As soon as I opened my eyes I was angry. I did not want to go to the appointment at Holy Angels, but I knew that I needed to complete your resting place. Sure I could have waited months or years to choose your marker, but I wanted people to know that there is someone there and not carelessly cross over your grounds without acknowledging your presence.
Your marker will be engraved with your favorite flower, the hibiscus. It will be a custom engraving because your flower was not part of the samples available. That is so like you and me to want something that is above the basic plan.
I just realized that I want to change the layout of your name. I need to call the mortuary tomorrow. Right now we have it set for you on the right and room for me on the left. I saw one of you neighbors and they had the inscriptions horizontally, one on top of the other. I hope that this will allow for me to fit your middle name on the face of your marker. Delacia C. is different than Delacia Candelaria. I really love your middle name. Delightful Light.
I find a sense of peace in writing to you. I feel that my words reach you in some way.
Goodnight Sweetie. I love you.
Love,
Mommy
Today was the first day in the process to select your headstone. It is a pillow top design and is made of granite. The color is black galaxy. It is black with gold glittering flakes throughout the stone. It is very sparkly and has a bedazzled look. The engraving is double process. This describes the deep etching of the letters and images on the marker. We will include a color picture of you. It is the same picture that was at the end of your services program.
Your marker will be engraved with your favorite flower, the hibiscus. It will be a custom engraving because your flower was not part of the samples available. That is so like you and me to want something that is above the basic plan.
I just realized that I want to change the layout of your name. I need to call the mortuary tomorrow. Right now we have it set for you on the right and room for me on the left. I saw one of you neighbors and they had the inscriptions horizontally, one on top of the other. I hope that this will allow for me to fit your middle name on the face of your marker. Delacia C. is different than Delacia Candelaria. I really love your middle name. Delightful Light.
I find a sense of peace in writing to you. I feel that my words reach you in some way.
Goodnight Sweetie. I love you.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Today I cleaned out her locker
Today I cleaned out her locker. It contained her running shoes, body spray, deodorant, sweaters, extra clothes and one hoop earring. Delacia attended Amador Valley High School in Pleasanton, CA. We met with Principal Coupe and many other staff members to make plans for the next school newspaper issue, yearbook, tree planting, and scholarship fund.
In the next school paper there will be an article and pictures of Delacia. I have a two-week deadline for that project. AVHS also committed to a one page tribute in the school yearbook dedicated to Delacia. We toured the school grounds and picked out the spot for the tree that will be planted in her memory and the tree planting is scheduled for the beginning of February. Tomorrow I will go and pick out the headstone for the cemetery and go to the engravers to order the plaque for the tree. We also discussed creating a book scholarship for secondary education in Loving Memory of Delacia. I would like to raise enough funds to create a perpetual scholarship to assist a college student with textbooks.
Delacia's cousins and friends have agreed to save recyclables and raise money to be donated to the In Loving Memory of Delacia Fund that I will begin tomorrow. In addition to meeting with the Mortuary and engravers I must go to the bank and set up the account.
I encourage as many as possible to contribute. Please cash in those recyclables and dig the change out of from the bottom of drawers. The idea is to empower children and give them a means to keep the memory of their loved one alive. The money will go towards the scholarship fund, memory tree, memory bench at Delacia's grave and a memory tile at Disneyland. Her little cousins really like the Disneyland idea. The children will help me to decide how the funds are to be spent. This is a collaborative effort.
This effort is to keep my spirits up and give me a purpose. Delacia was my everything and my identity. I am working to redefine who I am and I still want to keep her at the center of my purpose. She loved her friends and family and I want to stay connected with them and work in a positive way to celebrate Delacia's life. She was a very giving person and was civic minded. She recently served at Vineyard Fellowship an open kitchen on Monday nights in Livermore. She also put together a family food/household goods donation box during Thanksgiving. Her next contribution was to volunteer as a preschool teacher at Conerstone Fellowship.
Thank you for all of your prayers. I must feel it because I know there are times that I don't want to get up and I suddenly get a burst of strenth when needed. I am grateful.
I miss her. I love her and I am grateful for all the love and prayers that surround me. I need it all to keep going.
Thank you,
Delacia's mom (Kristen Camacho)
In the next school paper there will be an article and pictures of Delacia. I have a two-week deadline for that project. AVHS also committed to a one page tribute in the school yearbook dedicated to Delacia. We toured the school grounds and picked out the spot for the tree that will be planted in her memory and the tree planting is scheduled for the beginning of February. Tomorrow I will go and pick out the headstone for the cemetery and go to the engravers to order the plaque for the tree. We also discussed creating a book scholarship for secondary education in Loving Memory of Delacia. I would like to raise enough funds to create a perpetual scholarship to assist a college student with textbooks.
Delacia's cousins and friends have agreed to save recyclables and raise money to be donated to the In Loving Memory of Delacia Fund that I will begin tomorrow. In addition to meeting with the Mortuary and engravers I must go to the bank and set up the account.
I encourage as many as possible to contribute. Please cash in those recyclables and dig the change out of from the bottom of drawers. The idea is to empower children and give them a means to keep the memory of their loved one alive. The money will go towards the scholarship fund, memory tree, memory bench at Delacia's grave and a memory tile at Disneyland. Her little cousins really like the Disneyland idea. The children will help me to decide how the funds are to be spent. This is a collaborative effort.
This effort is to keep my spirits up and give me a purpose. Delacia was my everything and my identity. I am working to redefine who I am and I still want to keep her at the center of my purpose. She loved her friends and family and I want to stay connected with them and work in a positive way to celebrate Delacia's life. She was a very giving person and was civic minded. She recently served at Vineyard Fellowship an open kitchen on Monday nights in Livermore. She also put together a family food/household goods donation box during Thanksgiving. Her next contribution was to volunteer as a preschool teacher at Conerstone Fellowship.
Thank you for all of your prayers. I must feel it because I know there are times that I don't want to get up and I suddenly get a burst of strenth when needed. I am grateful.
I miss her. I love her and I am grateful for all the love and prayers that surround me. I need it all to keep going.
Thank you,
Delacia's mom (Kristen Camacho)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
My Delacia, my love
My daughter passed away on Monday, December 21, 2009 of an unforeseen illness, she was 14 years old. She went to the ER on Sunday night, midnight and passed away at approximately 10 am on Monday. There was an autopsy, Kaiser was unable to determine her cause of death. They did rule out flu and H1N1.
I am a teacher and make a reasonable income, however, I feel blessed that I had a $10,000 child rider on my life insurance to assist with expenses. I am a single parent with limited savings. I still have college debt and raising a child that went to Catholic School, played sports and had music lessons was a financial juggle. Not to mention the mortgage.
The overall expenses for her funeral service, cemetery and burial service was more than $12,000. This is even after the Oakland Diocese of the Catholic Church granted my daughter approximately $3500 in fee reductions to services as a gift. I also chose a double plot and that increased the fee by an additional $8,000. These costs were only the beginning and did not include programs, ties for palbearers, flowers, clothing...
If I did not have the insurance policy the Mortuary would not have moved her immediately from the Coroner. The policy was accepted in "Good Faith" and I was given additional time to gather my funds to complete the arrangements. Thank God for my family. My daughter's burial would have been postponed till after the first of the year. She was buried last Wednesday.
Now I am faced with the fact that I can't work at this time. Mentally I am not in a place to care for other children. Remember, I am a teacher. I am taking time off and now there are my own medical costs and other additional expenses that have arisen. Please get insurance for yourself and all loved ones. Those insurance papers were like a mountain of gold that moved my baby from Santa Clara Coroners to Holy Angels Chapel.
I am a teacher and make a reasonable income, however, I feel blessed that I had a $10,000 child rider on my life insurance to assist with expenses. I am a single parent with limited savings. I still have college debt and raising a child that went to Catholic School, played sports and had music lessons was a financial juggle. Not to mention the mortgage.
The overall expenses for her funeral service, cemetery and burial service was more than $12,000. This is even after the Oakland Diocese of the Catholic Church granted my daughter approximately $3500 in fee reductions to services as a gift. I also chose a double plot and that increased the fee by an additional $8,000. These costs were only the beginning and did not include programs, ties for palbearers, flowers, clothing...
If I did not have the insurance policy the Mortuary would not have moved her immediately from the Coroner. The policy was accepted in "Good Faith" and I was given additional time to gather my funds to complete the arrangements. Thank God for my family. My daughter's burial would have been postponed till after the first of the year. She was buried last Wednesday.
Now I am faced with the fact that I can't work at this time. Mentally I am not in a place to care for other children. Remember, I am a teacher. I am taking time off and now there are my own medical costs and other additional expenses that have arisen. Please get insurance for yourself and all loved ones. Those insurance papers were like a mountain of gold that moved my baby from Santa Clara Coroners to Holy Angels Chapel.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
What is my next creative step?
I love having an outlet to express myself creatively. For some reason cleaning the house doesn't release the creative energy that I have locked within myself. Working doesn't do it for me either.
This is my eighth year of teaching and I love it in many ways and in some ways I am looking for change. Looking for a new inspiration.
Teaching has been very satisfying, but I want something more challenging in a different way. I want to be less mentally drained after a days work and I want to feel that I have created something tangible. As teachers our output, which is learning often doesn't get realized or appreiated until years later. I guess I am looking for a faster turnaround. I am also looking for more stimulation.
I myself am a lifelong learner and I know that my curiosity needs to be satisfied. I already have a B.A. and an M.A. I also know that I do not want a Ph.D in Education. I don't see that point of me getting one. I don't see it benifiting my career path. And that is the delema. Where do I go from here? I thought about getting an administrative credential, but I truly don't believe that is the right path for me. I just don't see myself ans the teacher with a 30-year long career. Again I love my job currently and I love working with my students, but I don't feel that this is my only journey.
What is my next creative step?
I love having an outlet to express myself creatively. For some reason cleaning the house doesn't release the creative energy that I have locked within myself. Working doesn't do it for me either. Cleaning/cooking/shopping/...for my home and teaching/lesson planning/grading/meetings/emails/...for my school seem never-ending.
This is my eighth year of teaching and I love it in many ways and in some ways I am looking for change. Looking for a new inspiration.
Teaching has been very satisfying, but I want a new challenge. I am searching for my next path in life. I do feel accomplished and successful as a teacher, but I am wondering if I can channel my mental and physical energy into something that is more lucrative for my family. I love working with other people’s children, but I want to be able to provide more financially for my own. I want to be less mentally drained after a days work and I want to feel that I have created something tangible and is a reflection of who I am as an individual. As teachers our output, which is learning often doesn't get realized or appreciated until years later. I have had these great moments that teachers dream of when a student comes back to you as an adult and apologizes for their adolescent misbehaviors and wants to reassure that they turned out to be a contributing member of society. It’s an awesome occurrence that happens when you least expect at the mall or at the local coffee shop. I do enjoy those memories, but I guess I am looking for a faster turnaround. I am also looking for more stimulation.
I myself am a lifelong learner and I know that my curiosity needs to be satisfied. I already have a B.A. and an M.A. I also know that I do not want a Ph.D in Education. I don't see that point of me getting one. I don't see it benefiting my career path. And that is the dilemma. Where do I go from here? I thought about getting an administrative credential, but I truly don't believe that is the right path for me. I just don't see myself as the teacher with a 30-year long career. Again I love my job currently and I love working with my students, but I don't feel that this is my only journey.
I feel that I have more in me to contribute in other ways. I am just waiting for the opportunity to present itself. My true worry is that I will be too exhausted from my daily work as a teacher to recognize that opportunity has knocked. Will I be passed out on the couch with a headache from all the details that I balanced at work and not notice? I don’t want a 30-year career only because I got tenure and I have a job for life. That idea really frightens me. I give so much of myself as a teacher to my students and deservingly so, but there comes a time when there isn’t anything more to give and I much change careers. It scares me not to have other avenues of career development as I get more invested in this career.
I remember how I was in college. Filled with so much passion and conviction as most know-it-all twenty year-olds are. I had a future and I new that things were going to work out. I chose college classes by my emotional reaction to the class description. I just new that the sociology courses would lead to a career that satisfied my emotional want to help others and provide for us financially. Little did I know what it takes to provide for a family “financially” during those times. Now I am living my "Future".
This is my eighth year of teaching and I love it in many ways and in some ways I am looking for change. Looking for a new inspiration.
Teaching has been very satisfying, but I want something more challenging in a different way. I want to be less mentally drained after a days work and I want to feel that I have created something tangible. As teachers our output, which is learning often doesn't get realized or appreiated until years later. I guess I am looking for a faster turnaround. I am also looking for more stimulation.
I myself am a lifelong learner and I know that my curiosity needs to be satisfied. I already have a B.A. and an M.A. I also know that I do not want a Ph.D in Education. I don't see that point of me getting one. I don't see it benifiting my career path. And that is the delema. Where do I go from here? I thought about getting an administrative credential, but I truly don't believe that is the right path for me. I just don't see myself ans the teacher with a 30-year long career. Again I love my job currently and I love working with my students, but I don't feel that this is my only journey.
What is my next creative step?
I love having an outlet to express myself creatively. For some reason cleaning the house doesn't release the creative energy that I have locked within myself. Working doesn't do it for me either. Cleaning/cooking/shopping/...for my home and teaching/lesson planning/grading/meetings/emails/...for my school seem never-ending.
This is my eighth year of teaching and I love it in many ways and in some ways I am looking for change. Looking for a new inspiration.
Teaching has been very satisfying, but I want a new challenge. I am searching for my next path in life. I do feel accomplished and successful as a teacher, but I am wondering if I can channel my mental and physical energy into something that is more lucrative for my family. I love working with other people’s children, but I want to be able to provide more financially for my own. I want to be less mentally drained after a days work and I want to feel that I have created something tangible and is a reflection of who I am as an individual. As teachers our output, which is learning often doesn't get realized or appreciated until years later. I have had these great moments that teachers dream of when a student comes back to you as an adult and apologizes for their adolescent misbehaviors and wants to reassure that they turned out to be a contributing member of society. It’s an awesome occurrence that happens when you least expect at the mall or at the local coffee shop. I do enjoy those memories, but I guess I am looking for a faster turnaround. I am also looking for more stimulation.
I myself am a lifelong learner and I know that my curiosity needs to be satisfied. I already have a B.A. and an M.A. I also know that I do not want a Ph.D in Education. I don't see that point of me getting one. I don't see it benefiting my career path. And that is the dilemma. Where do I go from here? I thought about getting an administrative credential, but I truly don't believe that is the right path for me. I just don't see myself as the teacher with a 30-year long career. Again I love my job currently and I love working with my students, but I don't feel that this is my only journey.
I feel that I have more in me to contribute in other ways. I am just waiting for the opportunity to present itself. My true worry is that I will be too exhausted from my daily work as a teacher to recognize that opportunity has knocked. Will I be passed out on the couch with a headache from all the details that I balanced at work and not notice? I don’t want a 30-year career only because I got tenure and I have a job for life. That idea really frightens me. I give so much of myself as a teacher to my students and deservingly so, but there comes a time when there isn’t anything more to give and I much change careers. It scares me not to have other avenues of career development as I get more invested in this career.
I remember how I was in college. Filled with so much passion and conviction as most know-it-all twenty year-olds are. I had a future and I new that things were going to work out. I chose college classes by my emotional reaction to the class description. I just new that the sociology courses would lead to a career that satisfied my emotional want to help others and provide for us financially. Little did I know what it takes to provide for a family “financially” during those times. Now I am living my "Future".
Sunday, October 4, 2009
I should be grading papers.
I should be working right now. I am a middle-school math teacher and I have papers to grade. Instead I have been searching the internet for alternative careers that would be more profitable and allow me to be at home with my daughter more than just scheduled school vacations.
As I write my 13 year-old daughter demands my attention and is talking to me about ??? Oh yeah, "Say a few words and I will tell you if there is a song that goes with them." How does she think of these things?
I love her and I love working with children. I have found out that my career as a teacher takes more time from my family during the school year than I had ever imagined. I don't have the flexibility to be at my child's side when she is ill or go to back-to-school night because I have my own to attend. It seems ironic that a child centered career conflicts with my own children and is not family friendly. I feel that I can't be there for my daughter when she needs me.
I can't be there for myself either. I have had flu-like symptoms for the last four days now. I can't be sick. This is not part of my plan and I still have to write lesson plans for my sub-days. I love my job, but I want to have health and family come first. It is just hard to manage as a teacher. I know that other careers have their obstacles. I just needed a platform to vent the irony at play here. I love kids, educated myself to work with them, had my own and found that my career distracts more than supports my own family. I want to work to live, not live for my work.
As I write my 13 year-old daughter demands my attention and is talking to me about ??? Oh yeah, "Say a few words and I will tell you if there is a song that goes with them." How does she think of these things?
I love her and I love working with children. I have found out that my career as a teacher takes more time from my family during the school year than I had ever imagined. I don't have the flexibility to be at my child's side when she is ill or go to back-to-school night because I have my own to attend. It seems ironic that a child centered career conflicts with my own children and is not family friendly. I feel that I can't be there for my daughter when she needs me.
I can't be there for myself either. I have had flu-like symptoms for the last four days now. I can't be sick. This is not part of my plan and I still have to write lesson plans for my sub-days. I love my job, but I want to have health and family come first. It is just hard to manage as a teacher. I know that other careers have their obstacles. I just needed a platform to vent the irony at play here. I love kids, educated myself to work with them, had my own and found that my career distracts more than supports my own family. I want to work to live, not live for my work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
